Next Step Solutions, a team of behavioral health experts, recently conducted a study on the state of mental health in America. The key takeaways were that roughly 50 million Americans were experiencing at least one mental illness and that “55% of adults with mental illness have not received any treatment.”

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness, “1 in 5 people are affected by mental health issues every year. The other 4 are family and friends.”

UNFORTUNATE REALITIES

Here are some burdensome truths:

• Many people dealing with these issues don’t have access to treatment.  
• Many have been denied acceptance, belief, trust, and support because their diagnosis doesn’t fit the preferred narrative.
• A lot of mental illnesses and disorders stem from trauma. 

Going further on the “preferred narrative” issue, most people who have never suffered from addiction maintain that it’s simply about bad life choices. As a result, some look down their noses at those who struggle with it. While most of us understand that substance abuse is never a good choice, Psyche Central acknowledges that “mental illness and substance use disorder (SUD) often occur together. It’s unclear which issue happens first, but each can contribute to the other.” They further state that genetics may account for 40% to 60% of a person’s vulnerability to addiction.

Further, as noted by the National Institute on Drug Abuse (NIDA), “Drug addiction is classified as a mental illness because addiction changes the brain in fundamental ways, disturbing a person’s normal hierarchy of needs and desires, and substituting new priorities connected with procuring and using drugs.”

DON’T ASSUME YOU KNOW WHAT’S GOING ON

Whatever the illness or disorder someone is dealing, with, please don’t assume that you know what’s going on.

Often, a person appears normal. Their struggle is not displayed for all the world to see, so others can’t determine why they are disabled or have social anxiety, etc. It’s hard to understand what we haven’t experienced. We’re not professionals. However, the individual experiencing these issues has lived with them for a long time. They have likely consulted with professionals. They’ve done the research. It has probably taken them a long time to draw conclusions or get professional validation. So, please, don’t tell them they are wrong.

They’ve been examining their behavior and looking for answers, so please don’t write it off as them conjuring it up for attention. They’re likely not looking for pity but would appreciate a little empathy. If you think it’s just a cry for help, consider helping, not judging. 

Also, please don’t minimalize it or tell them it’s just this or that. When you say, “Oh, everybody has anxiety,” or “Everyone gets depressed, well, yes, but how well do they function? If someone’s level of anxiety or depression makes their lives unmanageable, it’s not the same. There is persistent depressive disorder and major depressive disorder. Extreme anxiety can be problematic for driving, being able to cope and perform under pressure, and so on.

WHEN IT COMES TO KIDS

This one, for me, is the most heartbreaking.

Understandably, parents and other family members prefer that the child not be afflicted with this or that, but remaining in denial doesn’t help anyone. It hurts. It destroys. These kids need someone to seek answers for them, to understand what they’re going through. They shouldn’t have to feel alienated, ashamed, and alone. They certainly don’t deserve to be made fun of or shamed.

Granted, people don’t necessarily realize it when they contribute to the erosion of a child’s self-worth, but kids pay attention to how people treat them, and they get the message loud and clear. I wish I could say it didn’t distort their self-perception and make them more sensitive and insecure, but it does.

And by the time these kids become adults, they lose the motivation to nurture relationships because of what they’ve experienced—people not understanding, not believing, supporting, or trusting them. They ultimately give up.

I know a person who spent many years forcing themselves, with great difficulty, to act how they were expected to —only to have an eventual mental breakdown. This individual was completely broken from having essentially denied who they were all their lives. 

That particular story had to do with autism. 

It seems that when some people think of autism, they think of extreme autism, where you can immediately detect a problem. But we know now that there is a spectrum and that an autistic person can be high-functioning. At the same time, they may have difficulty with social interaction and reading social cues and so suffer from social anxiety. They may have many other issues, and you may notice them or not because many of them will do their best to act “normal.”

MY PLEA

We don’t have to tolerate bad behavior but please don’t vilify or demonize someone simply for having a mental illness or disorder.

If children are having difficulty, help them, please. Whether it’s a child or an adult reaching out to you, please listen with an open heart when they try to tell you what’s going on.

Too many people feel tremendous anguish and pain these days, so let’s all be part of the solution. Caring and trying to understand is always a great start.