Let’s see if anyone can relate to this conversation.
FEMALE: I’m making a list of what we need for the party.
MALE: What party? We’re all going out to brunch.
FEMALE: Yeah, and then we’re coming back here to hang out, open presents and all that. Oh, I need to put Half and Half on the list.
MALE: Half and Half? Nobody’s going to want coffee. We’ll be having coffee at brunch. You have seltzer. You have those fruit drinks. You have water. That’s enough.
FEMALE: (Ignoring him) I’ll have hot chocolate, too. Should I get the little marshmallows?
MALE: No marshmallows. Why do you even need hot chocolate?
FEMALE: (Teasing) It’s always nice to have hot chocolate in the winter for the weary travelers.
MALE: There won’t be any weary travelers coming by here.
FEMALE: (Laughing) I know, but they’re going to be freezing.
MALE: They’ll be in the car. They won’t be outside for more than five minutes. I’m telling you, nobody is going to be asking for hot chocolate.
FEMALE: They don’t ask. You want to be able to offer it.
MALE: You’re going to have pretzels, fresh-baked cookies. You have candy and popcorn. What else are they going to want? They’re going to be full from brunch.
FEMALE: (Ignoring him) Oh yeah, I have Jenga.
MALE: Nobody’s going to want to play Jenga. And you have a gazillion board games.
FEMALE: Listen, I’m not going to force anything on anyone. You just offer, that’s all.
MALE: (Facetiously) Why don’t you get some Nutella and some marshmallow fluff, too, in case someone orders a fluffernutter sandwich.
FEMALE: (Laughing even harder) “They don’t order these things. I told you…”
The female above is me and reminds me of my mother, too. It’s a conversation I had recently. The male represents my father, my ex, and even my son with that ex. I’ve had similar conversations with all of them.
When I married said “ex”, I told him we needed to get service for eight on dinnerware sets, flatware—all of that stuff. His response to me was, “Who are these eight people we’re going to be inviting over to the house?”
It’s not that these guys are cheap or don’t want to be good hosts. They just like to keep things simple. They are practical and probably right about everything, but they don’t understand.
There was one holiday when my sister came in from out-of-town and didn’t feel welcome because my parents didn’t go out and buy New York bagels. She felt that since she doesn’t get to New York as much, they should have had that for her. I told her, if they ever bought bagels, it was those frozen Lenders bagels they only started buying after we all moved out. And they bought them only when they were on sale. My mom and dad swore up and down they had no idea she even liked bagels. They never even thought about it because, as far as they were concerned, they had everything. They had the pasta, the meat, the salad, the bread, the antipasto, the fruit, the cheeses, the cakes, the cookies, the beer, the liquor, the expresso, the regular coffee, the ice cream, and even the sandwich meat if you were hungry later. That makes sense.
So, my dad, in disbelief asked, “With all that, who’s going to be looking for bagels?” But she was going to be there for breakfast. I mean, she knew by then that they ate the same breakfast every day since she was born—grapefruit, coffee, and toast with butter and jelly. We used to wake up early and make our own French toast when we were kids. Other than that, we had cereal or toast.
Yeah, so, I learned, growing up, that you want to have what you know your company will like (within reason, of course). It makes them feel welcome and comfortable. But I know, as the aforementioned males do, that making memories is the most important thing and being fully present.
Hey, I just want everybody who comes to see me to be happy.
Anyway, whatever you’re celebrating at this time of year, I hope it’s happy, and I wish you an abundance of all good things. We need to find joy wherever we can, savor it, and celebrate the hell out of it. Don’t let anyone steal your joy. ❤️
“We didn’t realize we were making memories, we just knew we were having fun.” — A.A. Milne
Feature photo (top) with candy cane image by Penelope883 from Pixabay
Fireplace/cookies image by Marion Schanné from Pixabay
D.K. Sanz 