(full version)

Reality to me is the dusk.

Prevalence in the shadows.

It is cloaking,

Grasping,

Discerning

In a world of darkness.

It is torment.

It is restraint.

The disturbing notion

That one must taste a normal

Subsistence,

An existence so mundane and

Unremarkable.

Part of me scorns it—

The contrived,

The unnatural kismet—

And so loves being

Unbounded.

I can pretend—

I know you know what it is

To stand the test of time

As a creature sunken

In the darkness of the world,

Trying to understand

What is going on,

What it is we need,

Why we do this,

And what it is they expect us to do.

But, the beauty of the peaceful lull

Amid the trees just before sunrise

Lies in contrast with the hazy tumult

Of my self-inflicted tomb.

I have lived, and I have died.

Life, as I knew it, is over.

Still, I am happier than I have ever been.

I know love.

I know peace.

I am in awe of every vision.

I bask in the passion of every caress.

Every bit of air I breathe is a godsend.

I could listen to the stillness of the ocean

Before daybreak,

To the waves amid a blue-violet sky.

I could dance with flair to the music

With a glow that illuminates me.

I have a power that lures,

Clutches,

And holds.

Temptation is like the ache for sustenance.

Seduction is smooth,

Effortless.

One learns to employ everything,

To safeguard,

To control,

And to conquer.

I feel as if I am asking you for your heart,

Your soul,

Your breath,

Your life.

What I long to say,

I hesitate to say it.

There is the danger,

The allure

As my hand reaches out to touch your face.

Can I hold you

And resist all temptation?

Can I ever set you free?

It is the old, “I have to do this.

I don’t want to do this.”

Yet I must send you away.

To protect you is to leave you when I must,

To silence you when you probe,

To evade,

To elude.

I can sense your presence,

Always,

Before I see you.

And, I kiss the earth you swagger upon!

We can only be hurt if I love you.

It’s all been said before,

No doubt.

I might have said it all sooner,

Had I not been savoring every moment

Of getting to know you.

Wishing that carefree innocence never would

cease.

There is no one else I’d rather be—

Unless it was to love you.

You are all that I crave.

♡

Author D.K. Sanz a/k/a Kyrian Lyndon

Images at the top by Dorothe from Pixabay