It’s easy to get pulled into a state of terror these days. There is deliberate fear mongering and propaganda, so it’s often hard for people to know what to believe.

They want accountability and honesty from their leaders, and they deserve that. It is understandable that people are tired of oppression by corrupt and manipulative bullies who don’t care about the people they serve (and yet many turn to other deceitful and manipulative bullies to fix it.) But I don’t blame hardworking people for saying they’ve had enough of their tax dollars spent on benefits for others that they don’t even get for themselves. I’ve worked in law firms, too, where attorneys boast about getting disability benefits for clients who are not disabled. So yes, many of the systems we have in place do not work, and we need leaders who will reassess them—whether it be border control, gun rights, our welfare system, or disability eligibility.

What I can’t relate to, however, is all the tribalism, elitism, and hate. None of that is necessary or important in achieving our goals, and it’s just devastating. This behavior has sickened me to my core since childhood.

People say things like, well how can you not get defensive when you hear that there is white privilege, or “they” accuse white people of doing things you don’t do and never did? They also argue that white people also find themselves in difficult circumstances.

Okay, well, here is why I don’t get defensive.

1. It is obvious that I don’t do those things.

2. I have seen other people do this stuff, and it breaks my heart. The injustice is my primary concern in addressing the matter, not my defense. So I feel that speaking out against it is the very least I can do and, believe me, it’s not much and not enough.

3. As a person perceived as white, I have experienced white privilege. It’s something we take for granted, and it’s not simply about socioeconomic status, but about justice and human dignity denied. As only one example, people see me and assume they are safe, whether it’s a cab driver, an employer, a coworker, and so on. Overall, they treat me better, and I can make the comparison because I have always had relationships and friendships with black people. If we look at it as women, we should be able to understand it on some level, since women are often not treated the same way men are in the workplace, walking down the street, or in social situations.

The white privilege defensiveness is similar to men’s defensiveness when women talk about rape culture. Many men know that they are not guilty and feel no need to defend themselves but feel compelled instead to stand up for the people who do have to deal with the trauma, the abuse, and the injustice.

I do get defensive when I’m talking about rape culture, and someone has to point out something like women can be mean and aggressive, too. Um? It’s not that I don’t know that, but what does it have to do with anything? Don’t take attention away from the issue at hand. It would never justify anything anyway.

With white privilege defensiveness, the rationale seems to be that we keep people as victims by validating them, empathizing with them, and fighting alongside them for equality and the dignity they deserve. I don’t think people are kept down by that. I believe what keeps people down is the constant dismissal of their pain, the degradation, the humiliation, the fear of injustice, and the continuous crushing of their will, their faith, and their hope. This type of oppression kills the self-esteem people need to empower themselves, and it’s flat-out terrorism.

And please don’t tell me that those of us who want to help in this ongoing crisis support laziness and everyone getting free stuff. As someone who worked in the corporate environment for nearly a quarter of a century, almost half of that time with chronic illness and disabilities, I can attest to the fact that so many out there are doing their utmost to cope. We don’t know their stories, their circumstances, or what challenges they face, and it’s not always the narrative we hear over and over.

Enough with the stereotypes already. Just like all the gun violence—a white man is evidently the good guy with a gun, while the black man with any type of weapon is a threat. Honestly, I don’t mind any mentally stable, rational person owning a gun. The problem is everyone thinks they are stable and responsible until they’re not, and so many apparently are not. How do we even address that?

But for so many, it is all or nothing.

I see a lot of middle ground, which is an impossible place to be in these days. You cannot form alliances like that, and yes, people want allies. We are the same color. We have the same ethnicity. We agree about who God is and what he wants from everyone. We have the same political view. We hate the same person, so we know who the enemy is.

Here is my question, though, all or nothing people, where is the balance? Because life has taught me, it is always about balance, and the truth is often somewhere in the middle. Extremes are inflexible and maybe even a little insane.

And it’s the apathy that kills me.

Even today, as the nation mourns the deaths of brave police officers and two more young African-American males, we have people out there trying to divide and spread hatred—blaming Obama, Hillary, liberals, etc. I may be a little more of a Centrist, but I highly identify with liberals and their concerns, especially these concerns, so if you are blaming liberals, you are blaming me, and I am not okay with that.

Hey, I’m sorry that some people who are feeling terrorized now think “Kumbaya” is for hippies on drugs, and that it’s not popular anymore to ask that we love one another. Fear has everyone in a panic.

I guess somebody turned the tables when we weren’t looking. Those of us advocating compassion, kindness, and acceptance are the enemies. We have a far religious right believing there is an eternal reward for elitists who lack empathy because it’s part of their “religion” to do so and because they want all the power and control.

“The devil made me do it” defense applies only to priests.

And I don’t care what they say. When people shame and scorn you for speaking out against pedophile priests, that’s part of the problem. When the Hollywood community conveniently ignores the child abuse, sexist culture to avoid discrimination, that’s part of the problem. Anytime we close our eyes to horrific things happening because it interferes with our agenda or someone else’s agenda, that’s part of the problem.

Some people go so far as to say that empathy is Satan’s new agenda.

Well if that’s true, Satan has an army of candy-ass peace seekers who feel the pain of humanity and speak out for dignity and justice for all. Kind of like Superman. Except we are no more superior than the next guy. We just care about other people, and when they suffer, we suffer, too.

So let me tell you; Satan’s bad-ass, powerful army includes honest, law-abiding citizens who cry for this world—not the proud, greedy, gluttonous, and covetous bunch of bullies, or those merely in bondage to cognitive ease.

And I’m just going to say this one more time. Love and acceptance are what feels healthy and right to me. I want that for everyone, along with plenty of peace, happiness, and success to go around. Is that too much to ask? If so, what is the point of this life really?

“The world is getting too small for both an Us and a Them. Us and Them have become codependent, intertwined, fixed to one another. We have no separate fates, but are bound together in one. And our fear of one another is the only thing capable of our undoing.” ― Sam Killermann

Here is something else I’d like to share.

The police officer in this video talks about much needed change, and it’s worth watching.

Why Police Are So Violent Toward Black Men – In the words of a Baltimore ex–cop.

© Copyright July 1, 2016 by Kyrian Lyndon at kyrianlyndon.com. All rights reserved. No reproduction permitted without permission.


  1. Beautifully said and I thank you for the courage to say it. As long as we fail to stand for what is right we are guilty of increasing the divide. There is no balance in that case. Silence is assumed assent. As long as we think in terms of “us and them” we will never find the common ground that will lead to true peace.


    • Thank you so much for reading and for sharing your thoughts, Yvonne. It’s so funny how I am saying the same things today that I’ve been saying since the age of twelve,and things only seem to get worse in this world. 😦 You are right though, at the very least, we must never be silent.


  2. Wow!!! What a piece! I was listening to a world news item where some journalists were complaining about how they were becoming bored having to repeat the same news story almost sentence by sentence because in the end nothing would be done. The whole conundrum about superiority and inferiority complex of once race over another really stems deeply from the history of slavery and colonialism where one was lifted over the others,the effect passed down over many generations to the point that even in delivering justice people are unable to look beyond their prejudices. Take Zimmerman for example, he was freed after killing a ‘black kid in hoods’ and he wasn’t even a cop. That in my opinion was slave trade era justice!!! One may then ask, what would happen to a law enforcement officer who by his/her training and legal rights can shoot at the least suspicion? Couple that with already existing prejudices and you have fuel being poured in fire and the law enforcement officer more likely to be freed that prosecuted. I am by no means justifying violent retaliation of any sort but i can understand the frustration of someone nearing mental instability, maybe in the defense of what he/she sees as a gradual genocide, i hate to call it thus. The problem with all of us is that, we fail to realise that, whatever race we’re defending and preserving, once we die we become just another powerless corpse of that race gone for good. Therefore why don’t we just defend all nature including the ‘human race’ and all the good there is? It has to be because we have failed to over-come our primitive side as humans.


      • Welcome! Funny and frustrating how you come back to your old posts only to find the spelling mistakes and grammatical errors but can’t edit, argh!!


  3. Peace love and acceptance. We ALL have to come together and be the change we want to see in the world and stop the separation and discrimination.


  4. Well, well, what a nice surprise. I mean you, and this post, or this blog. I’m not sure if I saw this blog before, but this post was a good read. Your phrase “The injustice is my primary concern in addressing the matter, not my defense” summarizes it nicely,, pinpointing the problem with a sense of precision. And when you say “When people shame and scorn you for speaking out against pedophile priests, that’s part of the problem” you sound pretty much “Zizekian” here if I may say so (which already makes me love you).

    Indeed, there is all this stigmatization on all sides, but when – for instance – blacks stigmatize white people for their supremacism, it’s for original causes and they are in a first line defense position (so indeed I don’t feel offended as much). While, on the other hand, when we, White/Caucasian people stigmatize others, it is often because we refuse to see the original problem to begin with; we are in a second line defense position, turning a blind eye to the original reasons for world wide tensions. We need to be humble and step down from our pedestal – instead of being driven by fear of losing some of our welfare in the longer run, at the benefit of others (because we don’t even know that yet – and fear is such a bad counselor).

    I arrived here from goodreads (saw your fr there) and I must say I was a little bit “misguided” at first by one of your book titles, which I first took for a “romantic bondage” novel. (It could have been, of course – You clearly are a social thinker so from a psycho-analytical point of view such topics, too, may serve a good social or socio-political critique (don’t we desire to be gagged and bound by a lover in order to forget the social and political bondage that we hate, etc etc).

    But anyway: nice to meet you and your writings.


    • Thank you so much for your insightful and thought-provoking post! You made me laugh about the title of one of my books. No the novel is not about that type of bondage but psychological bondage. Oh my, though. It’s scheduled for a re-release soon, and I’m seriously considering changing that title now! Only because it’s misleading. Nice to meet you, too!


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